Nelson X Lisa Oneshots
by Bloody Simpson Chibi
Summary: Just a collection of short stories of my OTP. Shouldn't be but is rated T
1. Breakfast

**Nelson X Lisa One-shots**

 _ **Breakfast**_

"Oh no! This is terrible!" shouted one distraught Lisa Simpson. It was an early Monday morning and Lisa had just slipped rock hard slices of what used to be bread into a lunch box. To the left of it, a bowl of very soggy Krusty O's with a thin paper towel cover its top while on the right side of the brunt toast laid a broken up energy bar still in its case. Lisa was on the verge of tears as she looked at the so-called "breakfast" she tried so hard to make. What made this situation all the more worse is that the disastrous meal was made for her beloved Nelson Muntz.

She first noticed it last week, when Nelson wasn't himself. He seemed tired and groggy.

"Is everything alright Nelson?" Lisa asked.

"It's fine Lisa." He replied. "Just a little drained."

"Didn't you eat a good breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day!"

"No. I usually don't eat breakfast." Nelson said.

"Your mom didn't make anything for you this morning?"

"No. She was still hungover from last night."

"That's awful! You should eat breakfast every day!"

"That'd be nice, but what are you gonna do?" The bell rang and Nelson left for class. Lisa was sad but also angry.

"I know! I'll surprise Nelson with a homemade breakfast! She said to herself. So today, she had decided to keep that promise. She got up earlier than everyone else and started to make the breakfast. She thought it was going to be easy, her mother made it look like it was easy, but she was so wrong.

The first thing she made was the cereal, which was easy enough. Then she put two slices of bread in the toaster. Next, she went into the fridge and got out the butter and grape jelly. It was going great, but then Lisa fell asleep, it being early in the morning and all. She awoke to the smell of burning bread.

"Oh no! The toast!" Lisa ran to the toaster but it was too late. Black smoke was seeping out of the toaster and when Lisa turned it off, out popped two blacked slices of bread.

"Well the toast is a no go." Lisa said. "But at least the cereal…..HOLY CRAP I FORGOT ABOUT THE CEREAL!" Lisa checked on the Krusty-O's. They were soggy and little particles from them were swimming around the milk.

"The breakfast is ruined." Lisa said sadly. "Wait a minute! Maybe I can give him one of my energy bars!" Lisa took the last one out of her backpack. It was strawberry flavored and had raisins in it. It was also all broken up inside the packaging.

Lisa felt like a failure. She couldn't even make one simple meal for her boyfriend. Tearing up, she packed everything in the lunch box and an hour later went to school.

Nelson felt weaker than before. Suddenly, he heard the sweetest voice in the world call out from behind him. He turned around to see his beloved Lisa Simpson with a sad look on her face.

"Hey Lisa!" He said. "Why so glum?"

"Nelson, do you remember last week when you told me you don't eat enough breakfast?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I wanted to surprise you with a breakfast meal. But I mucked it up." Lisa then gave him a lunch box. He opened it and saw a soggy bowl of cereal, two brunt pieces of toast, and an energy bar.

"I'm so sorry!" Lisa cried.

"Lisa." Nelson said.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for the breakfast!" He said happily.

"But…"

"I don't care if this stuff was just crud on a stick. As long as it's from you, it's perfect."

Lisa blushed and smiled. "Thank you Nelson."

"You're welcome Lisa." Nelson said as he ate every single bite.


	2. Jazz

**Jazz.**

Nelson and Lisa were sitting in the latter's living room watching TV or at least they were trying to. Nothing good was coming on.

"This blows." Nelson said. "What are gonna do?"

"I have an idea!" Lisa said. "We can listen to a jazz record in my mom's car."

"Oh." Nelson said.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Okay then! Let's go!" Nelson and Lisa walked into the garage and entered Mrs. Simpson's car. Lisa slipped the disc, which she transcribed from a record, into the CD slot under the radio and a few seconds later, a scruffy man's voice started to sing.

" _I got a bratty brother, he bugs me every day._

 _And this morning, my own mother gave my last cupcake away_

 _My dad acts like he belongs, he belongs in the zoo._

 _I'm the saddest kid in grade #2!"_

Lisa was rocking to the beating really enjoying herself, the familiar voice of her idol, the late Bleeding Gums Murphy comforting her.

"This is a great track, wouldn't you agree Nelson?" Lisa looked at Nelson, only to find him covering his ears. He looked kina cute like that, but it still pissed Lisa off.

"Men." She said. "They just don't understand good music." 


	3. Sunburn

**Sunburn**

Nelson and Lisa had written their bikes to the beach after school today. There wasn't a lot of people there and that was just fine with them.

"Great idea to wear our bathing suits under our clothes." Lisa said as she took off her dress, revealing a purple swimsuit.

"I got the idea from your brother." Nelson said. He was already in his red swim trunks. He and Lisa played in the water for a good few hours before Nelson decided to take a nap on the beach.

"Geez Nelson, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were an old man trapped in a boy's body."

"Shut up." Nelson replied. Lisa continued to play by herself until evening came. She got out of the water to wake up Nelson.

"Alright Grumpy Cat. It's time to (gasp!)

Lisa gasped when she saw Nelson. From head to toe, Nelson was bright red. Lisa slightly touched his skin and Nelson awoke, howling in pain.

"Owwwww!" Nelson said. "Why does my everything hurt!?"

"You got sunburned." Lisa said trying to suppress her laughter. "Looks like I got to put some aloe era on you." The two got dressed and biked all the way to Lisa's house. She took Nelson into her room and got some aloe era from under her bed.

"Take off your shirt." Lisa said. Nelson obliged and Lisa began putting the ointment one him. It felt cool and eased Nelson's pain.

"My mom will drop you off at your house." Lisa said. She gave him the ointment. "Here. You're gonna need it."

"Thanks Lisa." Nelson said. "I don't know what I do without you."


	4. Snuggle Monster

**Snuggle Monster**

"Man, where is Lisa?" Nelson asked himself. Of course, he knew exactly where she was. Principal Skinner assigned her to work on the new puma statue for the school. She was to go home late for the next few weeks. Nelson was at her house, watching cartoons. Bart had invited him to play some video games but he declined as he wanted to wait for Lisa.

"This sucks nard!" He thought. "Why does Lisa always have to do extra schoolwork? How can anyone find work fun? Well, I have to remember that Lisa thinks differently than I do. She wants to be someone when she grows up and that's why she's always doing that school crap. She's cool like that."

At that moment, Lisa came in through the front door and walked into the TV room.

"Hey Lis-"

Lisa plopped down on Nelson's lap.

"-a"

Lisa didn't say anything. She stretched like a big cat and curled up to Nelson.

"I missed you so much." She said. Nelson and Lisa sat together and watched Itchy and Scratchy for a couple of hours. When Nelson was ready to go home, he tried to get up but Lisa wouldn't get up. He looked down and Lisa fast asleep curled up to him. Nelson smiled and made himself comfortable. As long as Lisa was asleep, he wasn't going anywhere.


	5. The Stray

**The Stray.**

Nelson and Bart were playing Mortal Kombat X with Bart as Jason and Nelson as Leatherface.

"Ohh Nelson!" Lisa said from behind Bart's closed door in a sing-songy voice. "I want to show you something."

"No girls allowed." Bart said in the same fashion. Nelson punched him in the shoulder.

"Go see what Lisa wants!" He said. Mumbling under his breath, Bart opened the door to reveal Lisa….with a little orange kitten in her arms.

"Whoa!" Bart said. "I thought Mom and Homer fixed Snowball II."

"They did." Lisa replied. "I found this little guy on the street cold and hungry. I named him Firestar after the cat from the Warriors series."

"Lisa. You know Mom and Dad aren't going to let you keep that cat here." Bart said.

"I know." Lisa said. "That's why I decided Nelson should have it."

"Say what now?" Nelson said in shock just as he pulled a fatality on Bart's immobile character.

"Hey! I called time out!" Bart complained.

"Haw Haw! You snooze. You lose." Nelson taunted

"So…will you take the kitten?" Lisa said happily.

"No way! I'm a man Lisa and real men don't take care of kittens."

"Please! I don't know anyone else I could give it to. Milhouse is allergic. Martin hates cats. And Ralph….well he still thinks his bunny rabbit is just sleeping."

"N.O."

Lisa began to tear up as she brought up Firestar to her eye level. "I'm sorry little one. It looks like you'll have to go back to the cold, unforgiving street." Just as Lisa was about to leave, Nelson stopped her.

"Alright! Alright! I'll take the stupid cat." Nelson shouted.

"Oh thank you Nelson!" Lisa shouted as she passed the kitten on to him. It purred and began kneading on Nelson's chest.

"Aww! He's kinda cute." Nelson said. "I think I'll call you, Firestorm!"

"Hey! He already has a name! Firestar remember?" Lisa said.

"No child of mine is going to be named after a book character."

Lisa gasped. "If he's anyone's child, he's mine! Firestar!"

"Firestorm!"

"Firestar!"

"Firestorm!"

"Good grief." Bart said. "Not even in their teens and their already at it like an old couple."


	6. The Park

**The Park.**

Nelson and Lisa were taking a walk in the park. It was a hot summer day and they were both in the mood for ice cream. The walked up to the ice cream and placed their orders.

"One chocolate ice cream for me and a strawberry ice cream for her." Nelson said. The Squeaky-Voiced Teen gave them their ice cream (which Nelson paid for with cash he "liberated" from Bart) and they sat down at a nearby bench.

"Hey Lisa can I ask you something?" Nelson said after a while.

"What is it?" Lisa said.

"We've been dating for a couple of weeks now and you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do! And I love you too!"

"That's just it Lisa. I know you love me but why?"

"Why? What do you mean why?"

"I mean I'm a bully. I look ugly. I smell. I don't care about the environment or anything like that. So why do you love me?"

"Nelson. I love you because underneath that tough exterior I know you carry a good heart and you might not be the best looker but who is?"

"You are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are. You're the cutest girl in the whole school."

"Nelson stop! You're making me blush!"

"You're even cuter when you blush."

"Nelson I mean it! Look let's just finish our ice cream relax a little okay?"

"Okay."

And they did exactly that.


	7. Memes

**Memes**

Lisa was working on a digital project in the computer lab. Suddenly, she was sent an E-mail by Nelson. She opened it up and saw a picture of Grumpy Cat with a Mickey Mouse hat on that read; _I went to Disneyland once. It was awful._

"Oh Nelson." Lisa said. Once she made sure no one was looking, she went to Google Images and found a picture of a 17-century guy saying; _I have only recently had the pleasure of making your acquaintance, and this may be perceived as madness; nonetheless, I impart unto you the information required for private communication, so that you may contact me perhaps._ She sent it to Nelson.

A few minutes later she received another meme, this time it was a picture of Spiderman in a lewd position with the sky. It read; _Excuse me while I fuck the sky._

Lisa blushed. "God damnit Nelson!" This triggered a meme war between the two children. After about an hour; Lisa sent the finale meme. She cheered when she received no reply. She was excited that she didn't notice Martin standing behind her, looking at her screen.

"Fooling around eh, Simpson?" He said.

Lisa stopped laughing and grinned sheepishly. Meanwhile, Nelson was at his own computer, exhausted.

"Damn!" He said. "Lisa sure can meme!"

 **Sorry for the bad chapter.**


	8. His vest

**His vest.**

Lisa and Nelson were walking home from school. It was a rainy day and the wind was blowing very hard. Nelson didn't really mind it though. However, he couldn't help but notice Lisa shivering.

"Lisa, are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." She said as she continued to caress her bare shoulders.

"Here." Nelson took off the blue vest he always wore and put it around Lisa. "There. Is it warm?"

Lisa's cheeks turned scarlet as she embraced the vest. "It is. Thank you."

They got to Lisa's house and he kissed her good-bye.

"Nelson, if it's not too much trouble, do you think I could keep the vest until tomorrow?" She asked.

"Sure." Nelson said. Then he went home. Lisa went to the living room and sat on the couch where she embraced the warmth of the vest. Then she heard the front door open.

"Lisa! We're back from Krusty burger!" Homer's voice shouted.

"Oh no!" Lisa thought. "I can't let them see the vest." Lisa quickly took off the vest and put it underneath the cushion she was sitting on. She sat back on it just as her family came into the living room.

"Ahh that was some good meat!" Homer said.

"We brought you a veggie burger sweetie!" Marge chirped

"Just leave it in the fridge. I'll get to it later." Lisa said.

Bart approached the couch. "Hey Lisa! Move your fatass out of my seat."

"No way!" Lisa said.

"You know I always sit on that spot now move it!"

"No!" Lisa was worried. She didn't want Bart to find out she was dating Nelson. Then Bart said something that shocked Lisa.

"Mom! Lisa won't get out of my favorite seat because she think's hiding her boyfriend's vest under there."

"Wait a minute! You knew?" Lisa asked.

"Of course he knows! We all do!" Homer said.

Lisa blushed deeply. "B-B-But H-How?"

"Get real! You think we can't hear you and Nelson talking about how much you love each other or you talking about him to yourself or this!" Bart said as he pulled up Nelson's vest from under Lisa. Embarrassed, Lisa quickly snatched the vest away from Bart and held it behind her back.

"Oh sweetie!" Marge said. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I think you and Nelson make a cute couple!"

That comment just made Lisa blush deeper.

"Haha! Lisa's face is as red as a beet!" All the family, including Maggie started laughing while poor Lisa tried curling up in an imaginary turtle shell.

"Someone kill me."

After an evening of awkwardness, Lisa went to bed with the vest. She put at her pillow and laid her head next to it.

"So my family knows." She thought. "Well on the bright side, at least this means I don't have to hide Nelson from them. I can't wait to see him tomorrow." She fell asleep using the vest as a pillow.


	9. Role-reversal

**9\. Role-reversal**

Lisa was sitting alone on the couch that night. She was reading Slasher Girls and Monster Boys. She never really enjoyed horror all that much. But after three years at Springfield High, pickings from the library were slim.

The front door opened and Nelson entered the room, drunk off his ass.

"Nelson!" Lisa shouted. "Where have you been? It's 2:00 in the morning!"

"What are you doing up (hic!) reading a book then?" He said.

"You know once I've started a book, I can't sleep until I've finished it."

"Haw Haw! You're such a (hic!) nerd!"

"Shut up!" Lisa went back to reading her book. She had just finished the "Hide-and-Seek story when she felt a strange weight on her left knee. Looking down, she saw Nelson's head resting on her leg, looking quite comfortable.

"Nelson what are you doing!?" Lisa demanded. But Nelson was already asleep.

Lisa just looked at him for a bit then sighed and continued reading, blocking out the sound of his snoring with sheer will.

"Geez." She thought. "Was I that loud when I fell asleep on his lap?


End file.
